Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Mom's Heart Goes Out For Her Son!!!!

I have been thinking about every thing that my son has been doing lately. Just when i thought that he was coming around, staying out of trouble, being more respectful towards me and everybody around him. BOOM!!!! He made a big bang again, caught him with drugs, lying and steeling money from us. So when i say my heart goes out for my son, its because i am at the point to where he will no longer be living with me. Thats not what i want, but he keeps continuing doing the same stuff. I have been seeking help for him, but its taking longer then i have hoped. For the last year, my son has been going doctors and doing home school plus seeing a psychiatry! He is taking anti-depression pills. I don't think that they are the right ones for him. I've told that to the doctor, but he just keeps increasing it. I'm very sad for my son. I'm afraid hes going to end up dead or go to jail. He is only 14 years old,but very tall 6 feet and acts like hes going on 20.... When i try to confront him about these issues, he threatens to burn our house down or hes going to kill himself or harm somebody else, etc. Then i attend to back down some because i really do feel he's going to do one or the other. Believe me, I've tried before and i got hurt. I am waiting for the school board to help me with putting my son in a boarding school. But its taking to long. So what am i suppose to do in the mean time? I have already called the cops on him, this last time they took him to the hospital and placed him as a 51/50. He lucked out and didn't have to go to a physic ward... So now he still continues to do his crap!!! I'm just so lost now. What can i do to make him understand how much i care about him? And all I'm trying to do is to keep him from making the wrong choices now. As he gets older its going to be harder for him or could end up dead or be a jail bird for the rest of his life. HE DOES NOT GET IT, yet anyway.... Well i think i have given you a very good idea to what i am having to deal with. thanks for reading this and if anybody has any good ideas, I would love to read about them. HUGS TO EVERYBODY!!!!! Stacy (hopefulsl)

23 comments:

Tracy said...

Sis sending you hugs big time your way. I would still continue looking into the military school stuff. Talk to our sis down in L.A. ask her if her friend has any more ideas. My heart goes out to both you and my nephew. I wish i had answers to this situation, and wish his father was a healthier person. I however think that he "is" part of the problem. Talk with you soon.

Btw this post i am proud of you in writing. I know it is hard to put out such personal info, and even harder because your heart cries for your son. I know that you are doing all you can to get him help.

I am praying for you both. Love you lots.

Hopefulsl said...

You are right, it wasn't easy to tell the whole world about this.
But i needed to get it out of my system, and to tell you the truth,
It felt pretty good to write it down and to share with all of my blog readers!!!
And thank you for your prayers.
I love you very much, I'm glad we are twins.....xxoo

Mike Golch said...

With all due respect sounds like he needs the crap scared out of him. We arer trying a scared strait porgram of our own when I was a corections officer it worked some times and other times it did not we were only allowed to do the program one summer.too bad you could not do something like this for your son.
I know you love him,just by reading the hurt that you share.
I'm going to offer the only thing I know how to do give you moral support,prayers for you and your family. Big time Hugs and God's blessings your way.

Mike Golch said...

I just wanted to let you know that I posted a prayer request for you and your family on my sites.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers and hopefully we will be getting a lot of help from others as well.
God will grant you peace and confort,I know that for that is what I'm asking for in your behalf. God Bless and keep you in His Hands and Heart.

Hopefulsl said...

Mike!
I am very touched, thank you for what you are doing for me,and my family.
As i am writing this my son has chosen to act out with us.
He has threaten to burn the house down and now my husband is really upset!! My son and husband are using bad words towards each other, I'm getting really worried what the out come is going to be now.
I'll take all the prayers i can get.... Thanks again for your support! hopefulsl (Stacy)
Lots of HUGS sent your way.

TJ said...

I'm praying for you! My brother was in the same situation at 14. My parents wished that they had sent him to inpatient treatment against his will. I hope you are able to get him into treatment whether he likes it or not.

My dad and my brother got into physical fights, we didn't like to go to family events because of the fear my brother would steal all we had. I know the pain as a sister to someone like your son, and I saw the pain in my mom.

Just keep faith! My brother turned out ok in the end. It took the birth of his daughter and 2 times through inpatient rehab, but now he is married, provides for his family, and we laugh because he actually has a 401k

Tina Coruth said...

Stacy,

I just came over from a link at Mike's blog. I'm so sorry for all that you and your family are going through. I hope and pray that your son can get the help he needs and that he will accept it. I found TJ's post very hopeful.

Take care,
hugs,
Tina

Hopefulsl said...

TJ!
Thank you for sharing your story. I too believe that my son will turn out to be okay. He is just going through a rough stage right now. I would just like to think that this isn't forever, and that there is hope for my son. Hopefully soon, not to much later. And yes, i am in the process of putting him in one of those schools were they can hold him against his will....
Waiting for funds from the school.
Thank you for giving me some hope!
Stacy (hopefulsl) hugs to you.

Hopefulsl said...

Tina!
I too found that TJ's post was very helpful. And thank you for letting me know how you feel. I appreciate all the prayers that are being sent my way!! Thanks to Mike for setting up a prayer chain.... Thanks Tina, and hugs and blessings sent back to you.

Mary said...

All my prayers go with you and your family. It will get better, Can't remember if I told you about my daughter previously at that age she too was extremely rebellious, same thing with us we had the cops at our house so many times, tried to get her into hospital, they said nothing was wrong with her. Took many years, but now she is 30, married with 2 beautiful children, and a great mom and wife. Hang in there things will get better, but I know how u feel right now, and I have told people I would not want to wish times like this on anyone..God be with you and your family...Mary

Hopefulsl said...

Mary!
Thank you for telling me that you went through the same thing. So you really can relate to me!!! I know that there is hope for my son, it's the waiting that is so hard.
I just keep on praying that it won't be to late.(if you know what i mean!)
Thanks for sharing and for your prayers.
hopefulsl-hugs

Mimi said...

I know that there is much hope for your son...but you must still stand firm and send him to the professional help that he needs...
I will pray that he will cooperate with the people who are trying to help him...God can work wonders in peoples lives, but we have to ask...
since your son doesn't think that he needs any help he will certainly not be asking...so I am asking for him
I also pray for God's guidence for you as you deal with the situation
Be Encouraged,
Mimi

Hopefulsl said...

Mimi, thank you for your concerns. I am sticking to my grounds. Waiting is the hard part. For now i deal with a lot of tears. I too keep praying for my son. And thank you for your prayers for our family. God Bless You! hopefulsl

Mary said...

Stacy,

I followed Mike's link and am so glad I did. I know your heart is aching and breaking. I am with Mike about the scared straight program. It certainly takes tough love, which is harder on the parents than the child. We don't like to see our children going through this type of thing, but sometimes they have to learn the hard way.

Please turn him over to the police. Charge him with uttering threats when he says he's going to burn the house down. I'm afraid you are going to have to get tough. Verbal and physical fighting won't do any good. Tell him you love him but he has to go where he can get help and then put him there, even if it is against his will. Be sure to tell him you will still be there for him.

I have put your family on my prayer list.

Blessings,
Mary

Hopefulsl said...

Mary!
Thank you for sharing. Yes i have called the cops on him. And yes i am in the stages of getting him put in a boarding school. In the mean time, i have to deal with his out bursts.
Thank you for putting my family on your prayer list.
Hugs & blessings!
hopefulsl-Stacy

kittyconcerto.com said...

Hi, I came from Mike's site. I actually thought I left a comment yesterday (or was it 2 days ago) but I don't see it here. But now I remember that blogger was having issues that day.

Anyway, what I meant to say was that I know that this must be incredibly difficult for you and your family. My cousin (who is like a brother to me) had the choice to either live in a boy's home or go to jail, and he chose wisely: a boy's home. He came out and created a youth outreach drug counseling program. And he dealt with kids just like yours.

There is hope. It may be difficult to see right now, but there is always hope. You and your family will definitely be in my prayers. xoxoxoxo

Tamara said...

My heart goes out to you and your son! You are having to make some hard decisions right now and I understand your pain. Best of luck in finding the best place for him to get the help he needs. He will thank you for it some day!

Take care,
Tamara

Hopefulsl said...

Thanks kittyconcerto!
Who knows, maybe my son will help out with kids that were just like him when he gets older. Ha! Ha!
And yes, i am in the process of putting him in a boarding school.
Thank you again for your post.
hopefulsl-Stacy Hugs sent your way.

Hopefulsl said...

Tamara!
I was wondering when i would hear from you again! Thank you for your concerns. And yes you are right, i am having to make some hard decisions right now. But feel deep in my heart that my son will thank me in the long run. I tell him that I'm only trying to save his life.... He knows that, but he wants to be stubborn.
By the way, i am knew to the computer world and to blogger land. I have enjoyed blogging with you in the past. Tried to find you but with no success. So maybe you can let me know how i can get into your blog. I would very much like to learn a little bit about you!! (Thats if you don't mind.)
Well i gotta go know, hope to hear from you again.
hopefulsl-Stacy Hugs & Blessings to you.

Tracy said...

Hey sis! click on tameras name in your comments! I will add her site now to your blog. Looks like she has it set up! :) love you hugssss

Tracy said...

Ok she is added to your blogs you read. :) I will sit down with you soon and show you how to move around your blog soon sis! Love you lots! Hugs and blessings , as well as kisses!~ lol

Jo said...

Stacy,
First of all I want to thank you for your visits and your comments.

As for your son, I have found that when as a parent you have done everything you can for your child there comes a time when it is out of your hands. That is when you have to step back out of the picture and let destiny take control. In the mean time you offer it up to God and put your trusty in him and hope and pray that the values you have taught your son will surface and lead him in the right direction. To force treatment I think is a waste of time. It is like anything else, if they don't want to get clean all the treatment in the world won't change them.

I will hold you and your family in my prayers.

Hopefulsl said...

Thank you Jo!
To tell you the truth, i have stepped back a little. I don't seem to argue as much with him, but i just let him know that i wish he would just do the right thing. For his sake any ways.
Thanks for your prayers.
Stacy,Hugs & Blessings