Wednesday, August 27, 2008
As i woke up this morning, i started to think negative, then i told myself that i was not going to start my day off like this again!!!! What is the matter with me? I keep doing this every morning and then i find myself feeling like crap all day long............. So i have decided to start this day off different, and so far doing great!!! I have a very bad habit of giving good advice out and not taking my own advice. I am sure we all do it. But i really need to start listening to myself. I know how easy it is to fall into a trap like this. And i am giving it all i got to pull myself out! I need to remind myself that i have a lot of support and that GOD is listening to my sadness. I am not alone, and that i am a loving and caring person out there. All of you bloggers have shown me that, and i still have allowed this sadness to take over on me. (((BUT))) not anymore, i am going to pull myself together and move forward and try to stay strong!!! CHEERS i say......Saying the word forward reminded me of the movie Pay It Forward! Have you seen this movie? If not, you must go rent it. Great movie i may say. ((Giggles))......So now i am off and running, and of course with that POSITIVE ADDITUDE....Hee,Hee......I hope all of you as well will try and have more positive days!!!!!! HUGS TO ALL :)
Friday, August 22, 2008
I am so shock!!! My son's dad is letting him come to my house this week-end. I am guessing it's because my son has so far been doing what he is supposed to do. Well for the most part anyway. So he will be coming to my house today, of course i am looking forward to seeing him. But let me tell you all, his dad has WARNED my son , if he chooses to screw this one up this means he will not be able to come back for at least a couple of months. My son's dad has told him that this will be his last and only chance, there will be no more chances if he decides to screw this one up. So it's all up to my son to do the right thing, LETS ALL PRAY, O.K........... I am happy about this because all i want is for everything to go back to being normal. If this all works out the way i hope it does, this means i will get my son every other week-end. When my son use to live with his dad before, this is how it use to be. He was a loving and respectable kid. Like any normal child they have problems but not like the problems we have been dealing with lately. And you all know why that was, due to him living with me and hanging out with all the wrong kids. I had no control of my son. Now that he has been back with his dad for a week now, i already see some changes in him. Not a 100% yet that will take time i know. But at least my son is actually attending school and not running away from his dads home. This is a big step for my son already!!!!! His dad has been keeping me posted all the time to my sons progress. Yes he has made some mistakes, but we expected some. And the good part is his dad has told me that our son has been telling him the truth when he gets into trouble. His dad can't believe it, cause believe me he does a back round check to everything my son is doing. And to his surprise, everything checks out clean........(((YIPPIE))).......I think my son is finally see the light!!!!! He has had a problem with lying for many years now. I have told my son that it will get you nowhere but into more trouble. Better telling the truth and deal with the consequence's now or getting caught lying and then having a worse punishment........I think he is finally seeing that. ( I HOPE ANYWAY ). Well guys, wish us luck this week-end and i do the same for all of you to have a very nice week-end. HUGS & BLESSINGS SENT TO ALL OF YOU>>>>>>>> Love,Stacy
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Hey Everybody! I have decided to take some time off from BLOGGER-LAND......
First i would like to thank each and every one of you for all of your support and prayers that you have given my family. GREATLY APPRECIATED, thats for sure. I have chosen to leave due to my son will be leaving me tomorrow 8-15-08 Friday. Therefore i know i will be in a slump for awhile. Even though i do know that this is going to be good for him, he will still be missed very much in my heart!!!!!
The only way i will get to see him is by going to his Dads place and spend time with him while his dad is watching. I know this sounds crazy, but we both know if i were to take my son to lunch or somewhere we know he will run and wont go back to his dads home. This is the best way we can handle this. So with that being sad, i will probably not go and visit my son for awhile until things calm down!!!! I do not want to stir things up right now, and i will have to not take his phone calls for awhile too. In the pass, my son has called with lots of tears and that breaks my heart even more when i hear him crying. He is real good on how to make me believe that his dad is out of control with him, and that his dad is beating him all the time.
Well i hate to say this, but i feel that my son will need some kind of discipline to get himstaighten out. He does not get it from me as you all know this already...... I will just pray that my son and his dad wont hurt each other pysically. (((THATS ALL I CAN DO)))...... Thats about all i have to say on this subject, so now i am going to say GOOD-BYE and each and every one of you will be in my thoughts while i am away!!!! THANK YOU ALL.... ((((Hugs)))) & ((((Blessings)))) Being Sent To All Of You>>>>>>>>>>
Friday, August 8, 2008
My son has one week left until he starts school. He starts on the 18th of August, which means he will be moving back to his Dads on the 15th of August..... I have been trying to have talks with him about this issue. Of course i get a lot of frustration and attitude from him. I keep telling him that he needs to knock off his attitude and just go with the flow of things. But he keeps telling me that he is not going to stop and that he is planning on running away again, and this time he is telling me that he is already having friends getting him set up for this plan of his......I did tell my son that if he chooses to run back here that he is not welcome, and that he would be stupid to come back to this area because we would be able to track him down. Plus i told him that it was between him and his Dad now. I have had enough of this pain from him, now it's his Dads turn to deal with this....He proceeds to tell me that he knows all of this already, so thats why he has friends helping him out and not to worry because he plans on running away to where he plans on being 6 hours away from both of us.... WOW i say, i guess this means you will be one of those missing children out there. Which also means we will have a Amber Alert out for you!!!!! I told him please lets be reasonable about this, but still he is addament about this. Now i told him all i can do is wait untill this happens, until then i will be praying for you to make the right choice......Until then, my son has a week from today Friday to do what ever he wants. Not by my choice, but i refuse to fight with him anymore.. As a matter of fact, while my husband has been away, he has been giving me more problems than i had exspected. But who am i kidding, should have known that this would happen. Of course why not, a lot easier to push me around when theres no other men in the house hold.......What a idiot i am!!!! Lets just put it this way, (((I AM COUNTING THE DAYS)))-(((YIPPIE)))...Now please dont think that i dont care about my son anymore because he truly is loved by me. I just cant subject myself to his behavor anymore. Time for his Dad to turn him around, I hope anyway. Well i think you guys understand to what i am having to deal with coming soon. Hopefully my son will make the right choice!! Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope all of you will have a wonderful week-end!!!! HUGS & BLESSINGS TO ALL OF YOU....... Love,Stacy
Friday, August 1, 2008
Last night my twin sister wrote about her illness. After i had got done reading it, it had made me feel real sad for her.... Of course i left her a comment and then all of a sudden i started to have this over whelming feeling come over me!! To tell you the truth, the over whelming feeling got greater & greater with me. Tears started to come to my eyes, my mine was going in all directions.... Now i have gone back to when we were teens!! I thought about how my twin and i were not that close back then, ((SAD TO SAY)).... Totally different now, she is everything to me. Anyway i thought i would share with all of you just a little history about Tracy & i when we were twins. Just about a week ago my twin had spoken with one of her friends about her and i being twins. Well her friend had asked my twin if i was the more out going one!!! ((SHOULD I SAY THE WILD ONE))!!!! Yes i was the WILD one.. Not saying that i was out of control, just saying that i had no problem being open minded....My twin will tell you that i was the popular one, the pretty one, had boys all around me, i had lots of friends. Thats what she would tell people, and she of course was the quiet one, afraid to let loose. She had one real close friend, as a matter of fact they are still friends to this day.... I think that is a great thing. I today do not have any of the same friends. But i do have wonderful friends as of today!!!! Anyway, where was i going with this? oh now i know, about my sisters illness, it had made me think about how wonderful of a sister she is to me, and how only if she knew when i was a teen how lonely i really was. Having all the popularity wasn't all that great. To really love somebody and appreciate a human being is to love the person from the inside out, not from the outside in!!!! All my life people judged me for my looks. It has made it very difficult for me to have women friends in my life because of this. I would go out with some friends to a bar and before i would know it, i would be in a fight with some girl because she thought i had been sleeping around with her man!!! I live in a very small town and have been here for 25yrs now. I have been accused of cheating with all the married men in this small town. I can honestly tell all of you and GOD above me that has not ever happened. The problem is the other men would go around and even tell my husband how lucky he is to have one of the prettiest women in town. They would be the ones to flirt with me, and i would have to tell them that they already have beautiful women of their own. Please leave me alone and go back to your wife. Of course by now this is my fault and not the men who are being out of line. There was one night that i went out with one of my truly good girlfriend who got to love me from the inside out. Well she talked me into going to our local bar, i did not want to because i just knew that there would be problems. Well we were only there for about 15 minutes, the fight was on!!!! I had about four girls screaming at me and throwing things and saying how much of a slut i am for sleeping with their husbands. Now i was screaming back at them saying that i have never been with any of their men!!! Before i knew it, each and every husbands of these women all stood up and made a circle around me. Now they were fighting with there wives. Finally it got quiet and this is what i heard.(( ONE OF THE HUSBANDS SAID HE IS SO TIRED OF ALL OF THESE MARRIED WOMEN ACCUSING STACY OF SLEEPING AROUND WITH MARRIED MEN! HE THEN LOOK AT HIS OWN WIFE AND SAID TO HER THAT HE HAS NEVER LAID A HAND ON ME AND HE IS TIRED OF HER PICKING ON ME. THEN HE SAID TO ALL OF THE OTHER WOMEN THAT IT WAS ALSO THE SAME WITH THEIR HUSBANDS. THEN ALL THE MEN MADE THEIR WIVES SIT DOWN AND TO LEAVE ME ALONE.)) Now my girlfriend had to speak her mind, this is what she said.((I'M ASHAME OF ALL OF YOU, I AM GOOD FRIENDS WITH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. DO YOU KNOW THAT STACY DID NOT WANT TO COME HERE TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE WAS AFRAID OF THIS HAPPING TO HER. BUT I TALKED HER INTO THIS, WISH I WOULD HAVE LISTEN TO HER INSTEAD. I KNOW STACY IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL GIRL BUT I WISH ALL OF YOU WOULD GET TO KNOW HER FROM HER HEART, NOT HER LOOKS. SHE HAS A BEAUTIFUL HEART, AND I AM VERY PROUD TO BE APART OF IT.)) She also told all the men thank you for finally standing up and telling the truth to their wives. Of course we left.... That has been about 4 years ago. So now all of you know that this has gone on with me for most of my life. And by the way, since that night i have been left alone. I am being treated with more respect from everyone. The whole meaning behind this story is because i want to say that i feel that my sister is the lucky one and very beautiful may i say.,.. She was the one who kept it together, people loved her inside out, thats what made her so beautiful on the outside. She is beautiful no matter what!!!! And i do need to tell all of you that you are very lucky to have her be apart of blogger land. She has fought all of her life to except to who she is, and believe me she has had it all along, it just took her this long to find it.... So back to her illness, i hurt so much for her. And i do not know why something like this can happen to someone that is so loving and beautiful and would do anything for anybody??? I'll never understand.... Tracy has always felt that i had it all that is not true, she is the lucky one! And i am very proud to say that she is my TWIN!!!!!!