MAN-O-MAN!!! WHAT A WAKE UP CALL........

Last night my twin sister wrote about her illness. After i had got done reading it, it had made me feel real sad for her.... Of course i left her a comment and then all of a sudden i started to have this over whelming feeling come over me!! To tell you the truth, the over whelming feeling got greater & greater with me. Tears started to come to my eyes, my mine was going in all directions.... Now i have gone back to when we were teens!! I thought about how my twin and i were not that close back then, ((SAD TO SAY)).... Totally different now, she is everything to me. Anyway i thought i would share with all of you just a little history about Tracy & i when we were twins. Just about a week ago my twin had spoken with one of her friends about her and i being twins. Well her friend had asked my twin if i was the more out going one!!! ((SHOULD I SAY THE WILD ONE))!!!! Yes i was the WILD one.. Not saying that i was out of control, just saying that i had no problem being open minded....My twin will tell you that i was the popular one, the pretty one, had boys all around me, i had lots of friends. Thats what she would tell people, and she of course was the quiet one, afraid to let loose. She had one real close friend, as a matter of fact they are still friends to this day.... I think that is a great thing. I today do not have any of the same friends. But i do have wonderful friends as of today!!!! Anyway, where was i going with this? oh now i know, about my sisters illness, it had made me think about how wonderful of a sister she is to me, and how only if she knew when i was a teen how lonely i really was. Having all the popularity wasn't all that great. To really love somebody and appreciate a human being is to love the person from the inside out, not from the outside in!!!! All my life people judged me for my looks. It has made it very difficult for me to have women friends in my life because of this. I would go out with some friends to a bar and before i would know it, i would be in a fight with some girl because she thought i had been sleeping around with her man!!! I live in a very small town and have been here for 25yrs now. I have been accused of cheating with all the married men in this small town. I can honestly tell all of you and GOD above me that has not ever happened. The problem is the other men would go around and even tell my husband how lucky he is to have one of the prettiest women in town. They would be the ones to flirt with me, and i would have to tell them that they already have beautiful women of their own. Please leave me alone and go back to your wife. Of course by now this is my fault and not the men who are being out of line. There was one night that i went out with one of my truly good girlfriend who got to love me from the inside out. Well she talked me into going to our local bar, i did not want to because i just knew that there would be problems. Well we were only there for about 15 minutes, the fight was on!!!! I had about four girls screaming at me and throwing things and saying how much of a slut i am for sleeping with their husbands. Now i was screaming back at them saying that i have never been with any of their men!!! Before i knew it, each and every husbands of these women all stood up and made a circle around me. Now they were fighting with there wives. Finally it got quiet and this is what i heard.(( ONE OF THE HUSBANDS SAID HE IS SO TIRED OF ALL OF THESE MARRIED WOMEN ACCUSING STACY OF SLEEPING AROUND WITH MARRIED MEN! HE THEN LOOK AT HIS OWN WIFE AND SAID TO HER THAT HE HAS NEVER LAID A HAND ON ME AND HE IS TIRED OF HER PICKING ON ME. THEN HE SAID TO ALL OF THE OTHER WOMEN THAT IT WAS ALSO THE SAME WITH THEIR HUSBANDS. THEN ALL THE MEN MADE THEIR WIVES SIT DOWN AND TO LEAVE ME ALONE.)) Now my girlfriend had to speak her mind, this is what she said.((I'M ASHAME OF ALL OF YOU, I AM GOOD FRIENDS WITH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. DO YOU KNOW THAT STACY DID NOT WANT TO COME HERE TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE WAS AFRAID OF THIS HAPPING TO HER. BUT I TALKED HER INTO THIS, WISH I WOULD HAVE LISTEN TO HER INSTEAD. I KNOW STACY IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL GIRL BUT I WISH ALL OF YOU WOULD GET TO KNOW HER FROM HER HEART, NOT HER LOOKS. SHE HAS A BEAUTIFUL HEART, AND I AM VERY PROUD TO BE APART OF IT.)) She also told all the men thank you for finally standing up and telling the truth to their wives. Of course we left.... That has been about 4 years ago. So now all of you know that this has gone on with me for most of my life. And by the way, since that night i have been left alone. I am being treated with more respect from everyone. The whole meaning behind this story is because i want to say that i feel that my sister is the lucky one and very beautiful may i say.,.. She was the one who kept it together, people loved her inside out, thats what made her so beautiful on the outside. She is beautiful no matter what!!!! And i do need to tell all of you that you are very lucky to have her be apart of blogger land. She has fought all of her life to except to who she is, and believe me she has had it all along, it just took her this long to find it.... So back to her illness, i hurt so much for her. And i do not know why something like this can happen to someone that is so loving and beautiful and would do anything for anybody??? I'll never understand.... Tracy has always felt that i had it all that is not true, she is the lucky one! And i am very proud to say that she is my TWIN!!!!!!